When the buzz wore off about nine months (hmmm) after my Kundalini awakening and I found my old self had returned, I was angry. I struggled to remember the insights, to bring them back in all their blissful glory. I watched as the dull thick fog of this illusory experience we call 'reality' smothered the truth beauty I had been gifted to witness. I know it's still there. I know I'm just in the way again. I started to feel like a failure, like I had lost the most precious thing entrusted to me. How could that happen?!
It didn't.
I trust that my path, however it meanders, is just fine. I needed to be hit over the head then return to myself in order to appreciate my path on a deeper level. There is no destination. Watching myself traverse daily experiences of this illusory human experience from multiple vantage points is MY expansion AT THIS TIME. Don't show me your map and tell me I'm lost. I have a different map. I don't know where it is at the moment, but I know it's somewhere and it will knock me upside the head again just when I need it!
:-D
A slow progression of some of the same insights is now beginning to arise within my 'normal' experiences providing a multidimensional understanding of events. Now I understand the writings that say there isn't just one truth, there are many. It's kind of like those movies that take you through a story from different points of view of different characters. Or, to use the age old mountain metaphor...What does the vista look like if you can see it from the bottom of the mountain, the plateau AND the summit all at the same time? Now add the vista from the other side of the mountain!
Perhaps more expansions, more levels of insight are to come that will add to the depth of my experience. Or, perhaps not. I think I have quite enough to work with at the moment, thank you very much!
One truth is that it is late and my body needs rest. Peaceful dreams!
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